


Caffeinated Chaos

by dragonwings948



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Breaking and Entering, Caffeine Addiction, Character Study, Coffee, Feels, Friendship, Fun, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Silly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwings948/pseuds/dragonwings948
Summary: When Ace and Leela steal coffee from Narvin's office, no one is prepared for the hyper, caffeine-induced shenanigans that ensue.
Relationships: Leela & Ace McShane
Comments: 17
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [bravest_person_in_Wonderland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bravest_person_in_Wonderland/pseuds/bravest_person_in_Wonderland) for coming up with this idea and to [LadyofLothal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofLothal/pseuds/LadyofLothal) for brainstorming it with us! I am having way too much fun writing this 😂

In the CIA Tower, tucked back apart from all the action but close enough to reach it within a few nanospans, was Narvin’s office. Leela could walk to it with her eyes closed. Sometimes she came to get a mission briefing, sometimes just to talk, or other times, like now, to relay some words from Romana that were better delivered in person rather than over communicators.

But as Leela approached the office, she was surprised to see someone other than Narvin standing outside of it.

“Ace?”

Ace jumped so quickly that something from her hand fell to the ground with a metallic clink. She snatched it up quickly and then turned to Leela wide-eyed, putting a hand over her heart as she breathed out a long sigh of relief.

“Oh, Leela, it’s just you.”

“What are you doing here? Where is Narvin?”

Ace innocently clasped her hands behind her back. “He’s away for a couple hours, checking some kind of security measures somewhere.”

Leela examined Ace’s posture; she was trying too hard to be at ease. “That still does not explain what you are doing.”

“Just…making sure he remembered to lock up!” She pressed the button for the door and nothing happened. “There you go, safe as houses.”

Now it wasn’t just her posture, but her wide grin that also gave it away. “Ace,” Leela said, incriminating her with a single word.

Ace deflated, slumping her shoulders. “Okay, fine. I’m looking for the coffee.”

“Coffee?” Leela had a vague recollection of the Earth drink. Romana and Narvin drank it sometimes, but she’d never taken much notice.

“Narvin shows up with it every morning! I think he does it just to torture me.”

“He will not share any with you?”

Ace shook her head. “When I asked him, he just laughed and said no.”

Leela considered for a moment. She didn’t condone sneaking around and breaking into offices, especially if it was Narvin’s, but if Ace was being wronged…

“This drink is important to you?”

Ace’s expression softened. “Even just the smell—it’s like a little piece of home.”

Compassion flooded through Leela. She looked into Ace’s eyes, wondering if she was truly clever enough to bring up the one thing they shared here that no one else did: they were far from home. If Leela could have some kind of remnant of her own home planet, wouldn’t she do anything to get it?

Leela crossed her arms. “You are trying to trick me.”

“Leela,” Ace moaned, spreading her arms helplessly. _“Please?_ Narvin won’t even notice. We’ll put everything back just how it was.”

She knew Ace. She knew that no matter what she promised, this would probably mean trouble.

But, if Leela was being completely honest with herself…she was pretty bored.

Leela sighed, giving in. “Your sonic screwdriver will not work on this door, or any others in the Capitol.”

Ace groaned with disappointment, bringing her sonic screwdriver into view and frowning down at it.

“But there is another way.”

Ace grinned.

Leela showed Ace how she’d seen the panel surrounding the door control taken off and some of the wires within moved about to open a locked door. She didn’t know specifically how it worked, but Ace didn’t seem to be bothered by that.

“Ah, yeah!” Ace exclaimed cheerily as she stared into the mess of wires beneath the panel. “It’s sort of like hot-wiring a car!”

Leela had no idea what that meant, but Ace seemed to know what she was doing as she stuck her hands inside. A spark shot out and Ace pulled back quickly, exclaiming in pain.

“Ace! Are you all right?”

Ace sucked on one of her fingers and nodded, turning back to the panel. “What I do for coffee,” she muttered to herself, reaching back into the panel. It took another minute or two, but finally, the door slid open.

“Yes!” Ace exclaimed, pumping her fist. She went inside and stood in the middle of Narvin’s office. Her head turned as she seemed to examine every inch of the place. “Shoulda known someone like Narvin would have a boring office.” She cradled her chin in her hand thoughtfully. “If I was coffee, where would I hide…”

“The space is small; it should not take long to search. Perhaps in here?” Leela touched a large metal box with handles.

Ace shook her head. “Filing cabinet.” She frowned, then knelt by Narvin’s desk. She pulled out a couple of drawers until—

“Aha!” Ace drew out a cylindric plastic container and then some kind of contraption after it. “Jackpot!”

“What is this ‘jackpot?’ I thought you were looking for coffee.”

Ace chuckled. “No, this _is_ coffee, and a coffee maker to brew it with.” A manic grin lit up her face. “Leela, this is the start of a beautiful day.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Eve! ^-^

_Iceworld._

That was where Ace’s mind went when she took a long whiff of the rich smell wafting up from her mug. She’d been too young to appreciate coffee when she’d left Earth, but fending for herself on Iceworld had been a different story. Coffee had been like gold there. It had cost a fortune to get a single cup at the café she'd worked at, and she had perhaps contributed to the inflated price herself. She would always go in early to work under the pretence of sprucing everything up for the day, when really she'd nick a precious cup or two of coffee and gulp them down before anyone noticed. With the way she'd been treated and the minuscule wages she’d been paid, she’d figured she deserved it.

"Ace!"

She shook herself from her memories and saw Leela staring out Narvin's office door. “There is someone coming.”

Fear seized Ace’s heart. "What?" She hastily put a lid on the coffee grounds and switched off the coffee maker. “He’s not supposed to be back yet!”

“Never fear,” came a voice that was definitely not Narvin's.

Ace paused and breathed out a relieved sigh. "Brax, it's just you." Ace fell into Narvin's chair with a huff. "You could have given us a warning; I almost just had a heart attack!"

"My apologies,” Brax said, stepping into the office. “I simply thought you might need these." He held up a jug of creamer in one hand and a little glass container of sugar cubes in the other.

Ace grinned. “I thought we'd have to drink our coffee black!” Ace jumped up and grabbed the items from Brax. However, after a moment of thought, she stopped and stared at him. “But how did you know?”

"No time to explain. Now, I'm off to a galaxy very far away from here.” He nodded genially at both of them and then walked away.

“Ace, what has Braxiatel given us?" Leela asked.

Ace set the creamer and the sugar down on Narvin’s desk beside the coffee maker. Leela peered over her shoulder as Ace gestured grandly. “This, Leela, is what really makes coffee, coffee. Narvin drinks his coffee black—goes with his hearts, you know—”

Leela cracked a smile at that.

“—but normal, sophisticated humans like us drink coffee the right way, by adding cream and sugar. Let me show you.” She handed Leela the mug she’d already filled for her. “Take a sip of that.”

Leela sniffed and wrinkled her nose, then took a tentative sip. Her entire face scrunched in distaste as she slammed the mug back down on Narvin’s desk. “Narvin drinks this—this _poison?”_ she exclaimed, staring at it like it was the root of all evil.

Ace chuckled. “Yep. Now you know why he’s so sour.” She added a few sugar cubes— _no, better make it five,_ she thought, recalling Leela’s love for sweet things—and looked for something to stir the coffee with. She frowned, gazing at Narvin’s desk. Some kind of thin, pen-like stylus sat over to one side. Ace picked it up, testing its weight. With a shrug, she dipped it into Leela’s mug and stirred it around. She added a little French vanilla creamer and gave it one final quick stir before handing it back to Leela.

Leela took the mug slowly, watching Ace uncertainly.

“It’ll taste way better this time, I promise.”

Leela took a small sip, eyeing Ace all the while. When she pulled the mug away, there was a huge smile on her lips. “This is good!”

“Ha, see?” She quickly fixed up her own mug and extended it towards Leela. "Cheers, Leela!"

Leela stared at her with a confused frown. With a chuckle, Ace took Leela's mug and guided it to gently collide with her own.

It still didn't seem to enlighten Leela. "Why do you do that?"

Ace shrugged. “Dunno, it’s just a thing we do on Earth.”

Leela shook her head. “Earth traditions are silly.” Yet, she smiled and said, “Cheers, Ace!”

They both took long sips of their coffee. The taste was something like home, like childhood, like innocence and long, boring days all wrapped into one. Until that moment, Ace hadn’t realised how much she’d missed just having something familiar. Ever since she’d left Iceworld with the Doctor, every day had been completely brand new. But this, just the taste of coffee, was like the last shred of normalcy she could ever hope to have.

“Ace?”

Once again, Ace caught herself daydreaming and found that she’d been staring down into her mug.

“You look sad,” Leela said, staring deeply into her eyes. “Is this not what you wanted?”

Ace swallowed. There was something so ancient and wise in that look, something penetrating that made Ace feel like Leela could somehow read all of her thoughts like a book. _A look like the Doctor’s,_ Ace thought.

Ace took another sip of the coffee, mostly to hide her expression but also because she was hoping that the caffeine would kick in soon and boot this sudden melancholy mood.

“Just thinking,” she said innocently. She nodded at Leela’s cup. “Come on, you’d better drink it while it’s hot. Lukewarm coffee is the worst!” Ace took another long gulp of her own coffee and smacked her lips, letting out a satisfied sigh.

A voice came out of nowhere. “Deputy Coordinator Narvin, I—”

Ace looked up and met the gaze of Agent Bence, a rather shy CIA agent with whom Ace had gone on a couple of missions. She grinned at him and held up her mug.

“How about some coffee, Bence?”

Standing still in the doorway to Narvin’s office, Bence ran a hand through his short shock of ice blonde hair, a nervous habit of his. “Did- Did you break into Narvin’s office to steal his coffee?”

“You bet.”

“He has been hoarding it all for himself,” Leela said solemnly, cradling her now empty mug.

Bence laughed nervously, but there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. “I, er…I’ve never actually had coffee before.”

“Come on in and try some. I’m sure there’s another mug around here somewhere…”

He held out a hand. “That’s all right, Ace. I’d better not. I wouldn’t want to be you when Narvin finds out.”

“He will not find out,” Leela said. “We will be finished before he returns.”

“All the same, Lady Leela, I appreciate the offer, but I am on duty.” He raised an eyebrow at Ace. “Aren’t you, too?”

“Nope! Day off.” Ace finished off her coffee with one last swig. She stood and reached for Leela’s mug, preparing to pour them both another cup.

“Lucky,” Bence muttered. He let out a long sigh. “This has got to be one of the most uneventful days I’ve ever worked.”

Ace looked up at him, setting down the coffee pot. “Really?” An idea started to form in her mind. “You know, it doesn’t have to be that way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Narvin isn’t here. Romana’s stuck in meetings all day. I say we liven things up a little.”

“Yes, I like this plan!” Leela exclaimed, standing beside her.

Ace cupped her chin in her hand. “I’m thinking…music. Leela?”

Leela grinned widely. “There are drums on Gallifrey?”

“No, but…” Ace turned to Bence. “You categorise the wardrobe, right?”

Bence frowned, eyebrows furrowing together. “Yeah.”

Ace felt the faint itching of the caffeine buzz, the feeling like she could do anything at that moment. She plopped back down into Narvin’s chair. “Then after another cup—or two—of coffee, I think I have an idea.”


End file.
